Love Sissy

My mom and dad, Anne and Jim with me.

Last night I made chicken and dumplins with cornbread for a dear friend of mine that lost her dad this past week. I know my cooking won't make things all better but if it gives her family time to rest, I am happy. I know just how tiring it can be to go through the death of your dad. My dad died two years ago November 2nd at the young age of 53. Of course my friend was asked the same questions that I was asked. Was it expected? Were you close? Even I asked those to her knowing the answers are never as simple as you want or need them to be.

My dad had polio as a child and was hospitalized much of his young life. Polio ultimately left him with a crippled leg and a noticeable limp for the rest of his life. I wish I would have asked him more questions about it. You see, it was just a part of him so I never really asked but rather accepted it was polio, end of story. It is funny because now I as I study the vaccines for my children, I read how polio is a thing of the past that "our generation" doesn't remember how devestating it was. It is true even for me. I never really took the time to find out about this side of him even though now as an adult I can see it shaped his life. I guess I always thought I could ask later if it ever came to mind at all.

Farmer Jim September '66

Even though my dad had polio and a sizeable difference in his leg length, he managed to play high school ball. I knew this growing up but really brushed it off as "so what." KIDS! Even as a young adult, I figured he was the football player that didn't get to play much or the one they "let" on the team out of symphathy. I mean how can a boy really play football that limps so badly. After dad passed, so many have come to me and told me they played football with him and he was really good. Several have said there was a wildness about him and that he could hit harder than any other player. Who knew?

School age Jim....wish I knew when this was.

I knew my dad was strong in a wild way. He wasn't a big man, only 5'7" at best but did have wide shoulders and "canons" for arms. Back before I was born, he would arm wrestle down at the Mug N Cone for cash. LOL. I have yet to meet anyone that has ever beat him, even my dh. My Scott was a cocky fellow when we were dating and one day my dad asked him to arm wrestle. It had been years since my dad had really done it and Scott didn't know the history really. Scott was strong too and even won arm wrestling competitions even after we were married. Of course,that didn't help him this day. My dad didn't beat him like a normal competitor either. He toyed with him. Playing like he was loosing, then bouncing up, down, up, all for his girlfriend, to see. Scott still gets a little red faced about this to this day. Don't you honey? Later Scott and a friend, Barry, tried to get his dad, Pastor Tommy, to arm wrestle my dad. My dad would happily do it but not so for 6'5" (min.) 300+lbs Pastor Tommy. The boys told him that he was challenged and you have to take on a challenge. His reply,"That is the difference in men and boys. Boys think they have to take a challenge/dare but men know better." Guess Scott wasn't a man yet. LOL...okay, I will lay off honey. LOVE YOU!

I have a few more stories about my dad and a few more memories but sadly not near enough. I am told I was a daddy's girl for a long time as a child.

Dad and Sissy (me) I wish this wasn't so messed up.

I know that to be true from little snippets of memories but sadly, it didn't last long. My dad was raised with 5 brothers and didn't really know how to deal with a girl, especially once I was a teen.This created a big riff between us. Looking back, I can symphatize with him but I know he didn't handle things correctly as a parent. I wonder if my kids will look back and think the same thing? I know each of us makes mistakes but some of the things that tore us apart were more extreme. Funny though, I don't really hate my dad for that. Somehow over the years (even before his death), I figured out that I could spend my time hating him and fighting the situation or just accept the things I couldn't change. Once I accepted him for who he was and what he was capable of giving, it was much easier for us to get back a relationship. Since I let go of the idea of this perfect father/daughter relationship, I was able to look at ours the way it was and go from there. That isn't to say that my dad didn't love me or me him, even though I am sure it appeared so at times. Just the opposite. I loved him enough to finally accept HIM.

You know people always say action speak louder than words. I hope so. I just wish I would have been more vocal. That is the one thing I regret. You see, , I can look back and see his and my "actions" as love. Him being gone, he can't. I wonder if he ever looked back or just knew. I know how most people looking in from the outside saw it. I just pray that isn't the way he saw it. I tell myself it isn't. I just wish I knew. I love that I finally was able to accept the true him yet I wish I wouldn't have relied on actions alone and would have said "Dad, I love you and accept you.
One of my birthdays with Paw and Daddy

I just realized, I have one more regret, that I couldn't say "Dad, I forgive you." before he died. I am not even sure that I can say that now. I don't know if I do or not. I am not mad at him for the things he did, don't want him to pay for them, and I can see why he did what he did. However when it comes time for forgiveness, can I? What does that mean? So many of the things that went on between us shaped me into the woman I am now, good and bad. I think I forgive even if I can't forget.

Okay, enough mush. I don't like to be all touchy feely so I am at my quota for the week. I will leave this post acknowledging that my dad and I had a unique relationship with lots of love. It wasn't all bad and it wasn't all good. What in life is? Some things he should have done better and some I should have. However, in the end, he is gone and I am the one that has to live with our actions. Overall, I am proud of our relationship and know we did the best we could at the time. I am still "Daddy's Girl" at heart and will always be. I hope he is looking down from heaven and knows that I miss him and love him. I also hope he knows that even though I am a "tough cookie" that doesn't "show" emotion much, he is in my thoughts daily especially at this time of the year.

The last picture I have of my dad, August 2006. L to R, Annie, Jim, CC (standing), Nate, Paw Price, and Evie. (Zeke wasn't born yet.)

LOVE,

SISSY

Dad and me beside his pride and joy. August '78

Back with a Rant!

I would like to rant about something that happened at ds's school yesterday. Ds was visibly upset when I picked him up and as he was telling me what was wrong, he was trying not to cry. Being a fourth grade boy, he doesn't want to appear weak. Anyway, it appears that his teachers decided to do a social experiment to enhance their history lessons. I can't figure out if they are studying the civil war or the civil rights era or both. The experiment began with the children blindly choosing straws. The yellow straws became black for the day and the green became white. My son chose the yellow straw which meant he had to be treated like a black person for the day. The blacks had to walk at the end of the line, sit at separate tables from the whites, use a bathroom in a different hall than the whites, use the outside waterfountain rather than the inside fountains, sit on the floor against the wall rather than their desks, and at the end of the day watch while the whites were given treats/candy while they did without. Now this was done not for History class only but for the entire day. Today they are going to "flip" the blacks and whites so all the kids can experience the humilation and embarrassment. My son doesn't want to now be "white" any more than he wanted to be "black". He says as it turned out, his friends are the opposite color than him so he still can't interract with them today. Just as a side note, my son is the type of person that when told he can't interract or talk to another, he will not. The teachers have commented on how well behaved and obedient he is. He has never even had a warning mark in the two years of his schooling. He homeschooled through 2nd grade.

So now I ask why was it necessary for my son to experience racism firsthand when he would not have otherwise especially considering he hasn't been racist toward another. I thought it was a good thing that at his age and his generation, racism is not at the forefront. Nathan didn't think anything of becoming friends with the black children from football any more than the whites. I thought that was good. Yes, I want him to learn history but it doesn't mean he has to experience it for himself. Really if we did that, where would it stop? My ancestry is Native American and Jewish along with English. I don't believe Nate should have to experience what our N.A. and Jewish relatives went through no more than the non Jewish/N.A. should have to experience it. We should teach it as a way of teaching history and learning from past mistakes. Then we MUST move on!

Then there is that little thing of violating my child 's rights under the reasoning that you are teaching him a lesson. What gives you the authority? My child has the right to a desk during school hours especially if there is an empty one nearby. It is a violation of his right to take it away.

Oh, and did I forget to mention that his school is primarily white, including the teachers. Matter of fact, I don't know of any black workers other than the janitor. Nate's 4th grade only has a handful of blacks with none in his class or his switch class. I can't help but wonder if the teachers would have done this experiment had it been more like my school back in the day which was predominately black. I can't imagine a teacher making a black child sit all day on the floor, etc and getting away with it. Even if it was a learning experience about their history. I feel that the black child's parent would have been as angry as myself if not moreso which would be warranted. Also, I wonder what the media would do with it they found out especially if there had been a black child in question. I think the teacher would not have done this experiment had that been the case.I think it is just as wrong to do it to an innocent white child as it would be to an innocent black child just like it was wrong to do it to the innocents back then. Really what is my child supposed to learn from this? Racism is bad? It hurts? Or maybe now he will become a racist because he was forced to be humilated for a day because he is white and needs to symphatize with the blacks? You see this could very well backfire because now you have put race in the forefront of these children's minds and I am sure their parents where before there wasn't an issue.

The winner is

Finally back online and can announce the winners. Yep, winners. I was able to pick up a second copy of the book to give away so there are two winners instead of just one. Wish everyone could have won though. I used random.org to choose two numbers to decide the winner.

The Winners ARE

Happy Nester

&

Rose the Center of Myself

I will contact you through email to get your shipping information.

Thanks for participating

Amazing Reads and Blog Giveaway!!!

I have been in a reading mood lately and have read so many books. Today, I would love to discuss two of them.

The first is a children's book, Maurice Sendak's "Little Bear" books. There are several of them and we picked up "Little Bear's Visit" yesterday. My daughter loves it. It is a great "I Can Read" book. I remember as a child, I used to read this story to my kid brother weekly. It was his favorite!

Next is a book that I haven't even finished yet. It isn't because it is a hard read but an insightful one. I am reading slowly to have each nugget of information seep into my brain. Usually, I am not a self-help, Christian or not, reader but this either came at the right time or is just terrific. Actually, it probably was a little of both. The book is Max Lucado's "Traveling Light: Releasing the Burdens You Were Never Intended to Bear." Everyone of us have read or at least heard the Lord's Prayer but Max Lucado really breaks it down into a new perspective. His stories are not only thought provoking but many are also humerous. I don't think there is a Christian out there that wouldn't benefit from reading this book even if you feel you don't have any burdens. Is there anybody in today's world that feels this way? If so, even you should pick up a copy of "Traveling Light". If it doesn't help you then maybe you have a friend that you could pass it along to. Matter of fact, I am going to purchase another copy just to "Pass It Along" as a blog giveaway! Yep, I LOVE this book so much that I must pass it along to someone and I think that a blog giveaway is just the thing. If you would love to have your very own copy, leave me a comment letting me know. I will pick a winner on Monday!!! You are welcome to link to my giveaway using the Giveaway button. Good luck everyone!!!

Artwork

Artwork to me can be anything from paintings to decorative items displayed artistically. Every home needs artwork! Hopefully it is artwork that speaks to its owner. It may be the color, details, story, artist's talent or any number of things. Many times it gives viewers insight about the owner. Do you ever wonder what your artwork whispers or screams about you?

Are you one of those that feel everything must match not only the wall color but also everything else in the room including other pieces of art? I am NOT! Maybe it is the Gemini in me but I can't choose just one style, color, etc. I have to have it all. Does it all work? I think so. I know it speaks to the type of person I am. What is it saying? I hope it tells you that I love things that are colorful and fun. I desire comfort and am a religious person. I hope it portrays my love of all things homey not to be confused with homeliness or homelessness. Of course, if I keep buying the later may happen. Just joking. I also hope it screams that I love my family! Then again maybe you are hearing, "Run! as fast as you can away from this crazy woman that can't decorate!" LOL.

The slideshow below is all of my kitchen artwork. For starters is a print, Enstrom's "Grace" which I love. Maybe it my southern baptist raisings, but I find it so inspiring. I have an oriental painting of a rooster that I found for a steal at a local antique place, dh swears they couldn't pay anyone to take it. I have always been amazed by oriental paintings and this is just the perfect combination of it and a country symbol, a rooster. Dh gave me two bistro prints by Will Rafuse years ago. I finally have the perfect spot for them. I love their color! The other print nearby is a fat chef on a moped. Maybe I identify with him. Nope, I don't have a moped. Then I have a collection of various plates, platters, bowls, etc. I love each one for different reasons. Next is my china cabinet which I inherited from my grandma. It is simple and quaint but just perfect in every way! Inside on the top shelf is the china that belonged first to my great grandma then grandma before becoming mine. The middle shelf is the "simple" china my grandma used regularly. Bottom shelf is my china. My mom saved stamps at the local grocery to surprise me with this china because I loved it so as a child. I was mad because she was buying the other pattern for herself. Christmas morning I awoke to my very own set and was so thankful! I was about 7yrs old at the time. LOL. Later our house burned and mom ran back inside, DON'T EVER DO THIS, and threw out some of our most beloved items. The china was in its box and even though she tossed it out the window 4 ft from the ground, it all was intact. Shortly after mom emerged from the house, the flames overtook and we lost everything else. Thankfully not mom! This china was sooted but cleanable and a reminder daily of how lucky I was! On top of the china cabinet is a wedding gift of my mom and dad's that she thought I would appreciate. It is the blue and white pitcher on the right. I also have a couple of blue wine glasses that belonged to my grandma. Oh, and inside I have an amber platter with the Lord's supper on it. It reminds me of a large tapestry hung above our sofa in the home that burned. I used to stare at Jesus and his disciples as a child. So many things, so much to tell!

Singing in the Shower

I bought one of the best inventions ever and it has left me singing in the shower. Seems Ernie, above, already has one. It is the curved shower rod. Who knew they were so amazing? It really does give you lots more room in the shower. Great if you want to shower with someone. After seeing Ernie, it might be ruined. Does this help?


Hey, Buff has something Ernie doesn't have. No I am not talking muscles! He has a dual shower bar. I like the idea of having a place to hang my towel but it might be too much. I don't know sometimes having too much isn't a plus. Anyone have one of these? Come on I want details!

All kidding aside, I really do love my curved shower rod even if I thought it a silly expenditure at first. I love that even when showering alone, my elbows don't bump the shower curtain. It also just feels so much nicer and more roomy without taking any floor space. For us gals, that don't have the huge designer shower, this is terrific. Even better, Tuesday Morning has them for $19.99. The regular price on the box says $49. Great deal, huh? One of the best $20 I ever spent.

Btw, mine is simple, like below.

Kitchen Makeover

I wasn't intending on showing you my kitchen just yet but I thought it appropriate since I am trying to win what appears to be the must have paint for my kitchen cabinets.

A Soft Place To Land, http://asoftplacetoland-kimba.blogspot.com/2009/08/furniture-rehab.html ,is hosting a blog giveaway after using Caromal Colors for a dresser makeover. Her dresser is beyond TDF. If I wasn't inspired enough already, I sure was once I continued reading her post. I mean just look at the fabulous colors! Reds and Browns and Golds Oh My! Blacks and Creams and Blues Oh My! Really if I win, the delima will be deciding which color. I think I could deal with that delima though. So heres hoping I am the winner!

Now which one would you choose for my kitchen cabinets?

My favorites are the Cream, 2nd from left on top row, Gold, 4th from left on top row, and strangely enough the Blue, 2nd from left on the bottom row. I even like the Red, 3rd from left on bottom row and the Black, 5th from left on bottom row.

Oh My more choices.....

Now for my kitchen pics. I have already removed the ugly painted over wallpaper, removed the popcorn ceiling, painted the walls a lovely shade of brown and the ceilings a warm golden cream. The cabinets do look better with the new wall color but I think painting them would be fabulous!

The countertops create their own delima. Do I leave perfectly fuctional, albeit dated and well...blue...countertops or try to give them a makeover. I hope one day in the future to be able to afford granite. Do I leave well enough alone until I can get granite or makeover? I hear Rustoleum has a countertop paint now. I was thinking silver would mimic stainless steel? Or maybe darke brown or black? However, it could cause even more delimas if it doesn't hold up well. Opinions? Leaving the blue limits the cabinet color choice though. Uggh...hate not having the funds to do what I want immediately!!!

While I am at it.....take a look at a couple of my favorite kitchen items...

My canisters, some vintage, some new. I love the vinyl words.

Stainless Steel Fridge and Collection of Pitchers above

I am using two stainless steel milk cans for barstools. They are the perfect size for not only the bar but also the kids. My teen sits on the shorter of the two.

My church pew. It fits many kids which is a plus in this family! I like the color but am not "married" to it if you have a suggestion.

A rooster painting found at an antique store for only $5. Most hate it but I love it and the colors are perfect with the kitchen.

Last but not least, my cappucino station. Dh bought it for me for Christmas a few years back. Gotta love it!



Another Delima...what kind of light should I choose? I have a vintage light near the table that I would love to keep but I don't have to. I do however need to choose a new light for the kitchen area. Currently I am using the carport/addition light that we removed until I find something. I have these lights in the hallway near the dining area and wonder if I should get another of those? Dh doesn't like that the one above the table has a white globe while the ones in the hallway are golden especially if I bring the hallway lights into the kitchen. Opinion? Also, would you swag the light that is above the kitchen table over so that it is centered with the table or leave it as is?

Hallway lighting...